“I say telescopic dampers, I mean rigid stays.”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
Alan Partridge quotes
Every ruddy Alan Partridge quote we have catalogued, each with the speaker, programme and a link to the scene in the full script. Filter by character or programme, or try the random quote generator.
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“M62. How’s it going in the living room, uncovered any old fireplaces?”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
“Speak very quickly, she can’t understand it.”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
“When I’ve calmed down I’ll kiss him better where I stabbed him.”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
“It’s not an appropriate gift for a man approaching 50! It’s too big!”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
“Sonja, beefeaters do no live in caravans! They live in the Tower of London and they are restaurants.”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
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“You’re probably sick of canteen food from being on tour… I forgot, you’re not Bono.”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
“I didn’t see that advertised, you should sack your PR people.”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
“I’ve seen him eat a plastic pie.”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
“Yes, this is Bono’s bedroom, I’m not sure if he’s in. Bono? No, he’s not. He likes to lie there, though, with the ‘Sunday Express’, and the biggest bowl of Alpen you’ve ever seen.”
Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer
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