“When I’ve calmed down I’ll kiss him better where I stabbed him.”

Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge, Series 2 · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer

In context

Alan: Look I’m sorry, I’m sorry. When I’ve calmed down I’ll kiss him better where I stabbed him. Just, next to his thorax, he’ll be fine.

The scene

Alan makes peace with his girlfriend after stabbing her present.

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Alan Partridge · I'm Alan Partridge · Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer

Who says "When I’ve calmed down I’ll kiss him better where I..."?

Alan Partridge says it in I'm Alan Partridge.

Where is this Alan Partridge quote from?

It is from Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer (I'm Alan Partridge). The full script is on this site.