Alan Partridge quotes: Welcome to the Places of My Life

“I ski. And if you think living in England’s flattest county is going to stop me, you’re just bloody wrong.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life

“I’m a food processor.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life

“One of those orange fishnet stockings that onions wear.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life

“Like someone’s taken a bar of Caramac and melted it over the interior.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life

“Lynn, you’re my first line of defence. You just rolled over and let them tickle your belly.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life

“Anne Robinson there grazing by that tree. That one over there, Andrew Marr. The Dimbleby brothers. They’re just various builders.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life

“Sorry, I spat at you. Go on.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life

“I always imagine a soul strangely to be like a badly poached egg.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life

“These people may all look like retired pirates, but in actual fact, they’re former Lord Mayors of Norwich.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life

“Quicker, vicar.”

Alan Partridge · Welcome to the Places of My Life · Welcome To The Places Of My Life